Projectile Hair Supplies
by Illycidas
Summary: Rapunzel is without her frying pan and is visited in her tower by a strange man. How will she protect herself? This is a dumb oneshot that I think is still cute. AU I guess?


Buongiorno! Another oh-so-deep tale for you all. This one is kind of pointless but I thought it would be cute. You know when you have this small 5 second idea and think _I should write a fic about this_? That doesn't always mean you should. I did anyways. Hope you enjoy it!

* * *

 _Daydream_

She had just finished knitting a new sweater for Pascal and it was barely past 8am. To be fair, she hadn't been able to finish her mural depicting little chess man dancing across the chessboard since she had run out of white paint again, but she played guitar for an extra long time in the hopes it would all balance out. Maybe she could paint a picture of Mother in all her spare time; surely then she'd let her go see the lights!

No.

It was getting more and more difficult to waste away her days in the tower without feeling the intense wanderlust and desire to see the lights, see the forest, really to see anything that wasn't her tower. Really, it was getting ridiculous. An almost 18 year old girl who wasn't even allowed to leave her tower?

"I bet all the other girls were leaving their towers at 16, but here I am stuck." Rapunzel grabbed some vegetables, a long knife and her trusty frying pan, slamming them down on the counter and sighing.

"I could do so well out there. I could make all of my friends dinner and we would laugh and dance and sweep and sing together. And for once in my incredibly boring life I would win at hide and seek." She glared at Pascal.

Resigning herself to the slicing of her lunch, Rapunzel once again began to daydream. _A beautiful prince walked in from her bedroom door, bowing, with a silly tailcoat that flapped up a he bent. "Why hello there! What's a beautiful maiden like you doing in the scullery?"_

Giggling to herself, Rapunzel scooped the veggies into the pan and went to grab the salt.

 _"My lady, why do you ignore me? Surely you are the most beautiful in the land and I must have you as my wife."_

As she sprinkled the salt on the vegetables, Rapunzel looked up coyly. "If I am the most beautiful, where is the magic mirror on the wall that has named me so?" One of her favourite fairy tales growing up had been Snow White. However when she asked Gothel for a magic mirror for her seventh birthday, she received nothing more than a cooking set, a recipe book, and a scolding to get her head out of the clouds.

 _"Why my fairest flower, your mirror has taken form as this strange round black contraption. It is this that was gifted to you on your seventh year since birth as tradition states?"_

"Why yes my prince, how insightful of you to guess that. No one can ever tell it's true nature through this amazing disguise, and like so no one will ever steal it!" And with that flawed logic she skipped over to the main section of the tower where there was pore space to properly live out her daydreams. _Rapunzel and her prince twirled tirelessly in a triumphant tango. They spun seductively in the sweetest sashé ever seen. It was just her and her prince, strutting about in a strapping -_

"AAAGH- ompf!" Rapunzel fell face first over Pascal (who at the time was staring uncomprehendingly at the girl, as well as throughout the entire daydream, wondering to whom she was talking with and why she was dancing with a frying pan) into the ottoman. Arms flailing in the air, she narrowly avoided falling out the window. While she emerged unscathed, her unfortunate dancing partner caught the nail outside her window and was wrenched from her hand. As Rapunzel fell a couple feet onto the ottoman, the frying pan fell a couple stories onto the forest floor.

Sheepishly, Rapunzel gazed out the window down towards her fallen 'friend'.

"There's no way Mother would let me leave the tower to get my frying pan would she?" She asked her chameleon doubtfully. "If she wouldn't let me leave that time her necklace fell out the window, she would never let me leave to get a hunk of iron. No matter how good of a dancer it was…" She sighed and went back to her uncooked vegetable lunch.

* * *

A strange man climbed into her tower, clutching a satchel tightly and muttering to himself. Is this who Mother always warned her about? He was certainly ugly, with his brown hair and sharp jaw. He could probably cut her with that jawline. Plus he was clearly starting to sprout monster hair on his whole body, since his chin was speckled with brown. Sort of like before Mother made her sing to her, she would get the same sort of hairs… BUT HE COULDN'T BE RATIONAL LIKE HER. HE MUST BE A MONSTER. He must have come to cut her hair! To bring back to all the other monsters so they would crown him as their king! What if he planned on cutting it with his razor sharp teeth? Or his jawline?! What if he brought poison ivy with him for protection so that if she struggled while he cut her hair, she would get so itchy she would be easily overwhelmed? She couldn't touch him directly… but -

"THUNK!" He collapsed in a heap after the blue plastic hairbrush hit him in the head.

"Huh, I would have thought it would have taken more than a cheap blue accessory to take out the king of monsters. Oh well."

Rapunzel stood there.

Rapunzel stared.

Rapunzel realized what just happened.

And then Rapunzel proceeded to scream. And so the story goes…

* * *

Sorry I'm not super happy with the ending but I just wanted this up before all my AP exams. I hope some of you got the references, That was kinda the whole foundation of this fic and then it really didn't play that major of a part. I kinda wanted to write a whole AU where she just goes on this adventure taking on the world with a plastic hairbrush and maybe a can of hairspray, but then I remembered I should study for my exams and also I don't think anyone would want to read that. Too lame. Anyways, hope you liked it! Favourite and review if you feel like it, it's always appreciated.

Illycidas out


End file.
